Love Is A God Thing

In my last post I commented on the small churches’ parody of the biblical theme of family.  I alluded that the family church fails to represent God’s design and function for family.  With this post I will explore God’s design for family and its implications for what church is all about.

The dysfunction of a small church family is not hard to understand.  Just look in the Old Testament.  Simply put, people are broken.  Cain murders Abel over religious intolerance.  Mankind constructs a tower to strike it rich on a gold claim in heaven.  Even among God’s chosen people, family rivalry reoccurs like a cheap used car commercial on late night TV.   Isaac favors the man’s man Esau, yet Rachel schemes for the demure Jacob.  Jacob makes a better deal with “Monty” Laban for Rebekah over her older sister Leah.  Jacob later compounds family issues by openly gifting Joseph with a jacket only whose counterpart could only be found in Liberace’s wardrobe. His brothers sharpen their knives, but settle on humanely selling him into slavery (Did they really want that coat?).  All families, even God’s chosen family, are damaged.  Church family needs a better way. 

Family is more than a combined set of relationships.  The greater whole outweighs the sum of its parts. As God reveals himself to us, he is a relationship between three distinct, yet inseparable persons.  One could say God defines relationship, particularly family relationships.  He has designated himself as the Father with himself, the Son. Notice how Mark in his Gospel describes the unique relationship.

“And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased."  Mark 1:11 NIV

God’s Father - Son relationship is founded upon mutual love and satisfaction in the other.  The Father loves and gives everything to the Son (John 3:35).  In giving and receiving, their love for each other grounds trust in the other.  The Father out of his love, reveals to the Son what he desires to give (John 5:19-20).  The Son never has to second guess what the Father thinks or wants.  In love, they communicate to understand.  What the Father gives, the Son will keep in his care, cherishing and nurturing the responsibility as his own (John 6:37-38). The Son, out of his love, obeys and serves the Father, even to the point of death (John 10:17).  Love rules both their actions.  The Son’s service is not performed out of obligation or compulsion, but for the pure love the Son has for the Father.  In that love, death can not reign, for the Father in his love for the Son restores life to him (John 10:18).

  Now to the point.  The love between Father and Son is available to us.  Many times we think of salvation in terms of “things” Christ has done for us.  We have far too many nouns in our Christian lingo.  We are justified. We are cleansed. We are made blameless. We are declared righteous. We will be glorified. All accurately describe our position in Christ to God. Aside from the legal terminology, there is a driving force in our relationship, a Ford Mustang in the garage.  We are powerfully loved and genuinely accepted by God.

“You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.” Galatians 3:26-27 NIV     

 Not to overstate the point, but we are loved at the same depth, height, length, and eternal scope that Jesus is loved by God the Father.  God has no hesitations or reservations in his love toward us in Jesus Christ.  He does not hold back.  He perseveres.  He won’t give up.  He will complete everything he has purposed for us.  He loves us with an almighty, everlasting love.  On our side, we are empowered by the Holy Spirit to Love God by the same sacrificial love of Christ.  We are drawn to give up our prerogatives, agendas, and personal plans for him.  Our hearts cry out yes to God’s desires for us.  When we fall we are pulled up.  His love buoys us.  We are in a sense captured in the alternating current of God’s love.  In and out like waves upon a beach, or back and forth like stocks of grain in a breeze, we are shaped into Christ with the flux of God’s love.

God’s revealed love therefore should be the bedrock for how church family relates within itself.  Yet, a church is more than the sum total of the love relationships.  Love amongst persons in a church is not complete.  The Church is designed for a greater purpose.  I will give out a hint for next time: love is directed toward the other.   Love seeks to invite, include, and incorporate the outsider.  Until the next post….

“One Big Happy” Church Family?

I began church like many children during the Sunday school golden years of 70’s.  Like thousands of churches that dot rural America, church was a place where family came to worship God on Sunday mornings- family being the word operative word.  Small churches form families of closely related, often intermarried believers in Jesus Christ.  Services ended with family meals, also known as pot lucks.  Church family gathered socially once a week in their homes for Bible studies.  The family would meet to share their concerns for one another; giving way to the Sunday night prayer meeting.

In my critique of the church as family, I do not want people to misunderstand my intentions as those to knock the concept of family.  That is not my intention.  The edge of my remarks is set against the “one big happy” mentality that pervades many small churches in America, the two thirds of churches with 100 people or fewer within them.  This is my critique of today’s church family.

Most church families represent the interests of their own group.  They vision within tight parameters- the day when their favored sons and daughters will return from exile and fill the church with babies and children.   Ironically, they fail to embrace the single moms or broken families on their own street.

Most church families are governed by a matriarch or patriarch who sets the tone in the congregation, eschewing biblical models of leadership.  They help the children understand their place, their thoughts, attitudes, and feelings in family life. The parents see fit to order their house.  They decide who is accepted, who is wrong, who is the favorite, who advances in family business, who is the toe-headed step child. 

Most church families treat Christmas and Easter as family reunions instead of outreach to the yet to be saved.  They perceive the potential return of their prodigals- the spouses and children of the favored.  All the stops are pulled, the finest minutiae crafted for the comfort and enjoyment of the wayward.  Nothing offensive or challenging is presented. And for heaven’s sake, please ensure their children are included in the program or choir.

Most church families minimize conflict, though they are deeply conflicted.  They have no means of acknowledging, let alone resolving differences.  The favored members ride roughshod over newcomers.  Underlying conflicts fester into every aspect of family life.  When things come to a head, most families minimize conflict in order to maintain civility, denying the real fruit, change,that conflict promises to produce.

Most church families are open to new members, but membership has its price.  Expect to compromise your convictions- your priorities of family, work, and spouse time for the families program or ritual.  If the family is advanced in age, they canvass for “children” who have skills to repair their church house, or run their programs.  It is crucial for fresh idealists to maintain the family life.  Yet beware.  All your sacrifices will be acknowledged for the sake God’s kingdom, but please understand it represents only their interests on the earth.

What today’s church family needs is a huge dose of biblical reality.  The days when the church relied on the culture to support the “one big happy” attitude are as bankrupt as the US government.  Church family as God sees it has far a different shape and purpose.  My next post will delve into what God’s family is all about.